Composition #3 Inquisitor's Guide

In these last months, I've been receiving a lot of letters from my old colleagues from Rome, asking for help to tame a bunch of young priests, who don't seem to know how to deal with heretics. I've been retired since 1658, but my old friend Giuseppe Medici compelled me to write this short article of how to be a competent inquisitor.

At first, a good inquisitor must be cruel and be proud of it. This priest should let the heretic one or two days without eating properly (just some water and moldy breads) and sleep. It would be good if the psychological torture, which come before the physical one, were based in some research. About the last one, inquisitors have to be used to a lot of blood and gore; and it's interesting to be a litttle deaf: the cries aren't lovely at all.

Newcomers are used to making unbelievable mistakes. For example, inquisitor must not show mercy, and can't be easily frightened as well. It's not wise to stay close to the heretics, even if they're chained. And, finally, in any case the inquisitor should talk about yourself, these devils are very keen.

So, here we have some basic advice of how be a satisfying inquisitor. If you, newcomers, follow this humble guide, you shall be successful on your mission, given by God

God bless all of you.

by Francesco Michiavello